DIW Saturday Spotlight (11/16/12)

Written by Claire Carmichael

On 11/16/12, the world was introduced to the greatest thing to happen to professional wrestling since H.L.A.  Dynamic Impact Wrestling was born and its inaugural show left fans amazed, bewildered, angered and hungry for more!

The show kicked off with the introduction of the federation’s commissioner, Fat Jesus as he presided in front of his soon to be loyal fans and introduced the world to this new cutting-edge wrestling company.  The bearded leader spoke with vigor as he put the entire wrestling world on notice.  Dynamic Impact Wrestling is here and the world of professional wrestling will never be the same.  Friday Night Face-Off will be the new go-to show for high octane excitement!

 The first match of this upstart company was a crowd and eye pleaser as the top four women in the company wiped their boots on the mat and tore into each other.  Starzeh, Claire The Hare, Kristy and Angie scratched and clawed at each other for the honor of becoming the first DIW Women’s Champion ever.  The match was highlighted by a death defying leap of angelic proportions by Angie from the ring and through the announcer’s table as Kristy just barely managed to slip out of the way.  This led to her slamming Angie’s head hard on the mat for her Tombstone and the 1-2-3.  The Demon Diva is now on top of the DIW Women’s division with the championship.

 Immediately following the match, a distraught Claire The Hare was confronted by Aaron Sullivan; notorious scum bag.  He foolishly tried to hit on Claire as she tried to recover from her hard fought match.  Luckily, Christian Antonio of UFC fame showed up to scare Aaron away.  Gentlemen do still exist.

The TV Championship was up for grabs in the next match in a fatal-four-way table match.  Diamond Daryl, Day Day Jones, Awoozl and Gabriel showed no regard for anyone’s well-being as they crashed through table after table just to be crowned the first ever TV Champion.  In a shocking upset and very controversial finish, Day Day Jones managed to leap from the top rope and seemingly put Gabriel through the table.  Day Day will come into next week’s Friday Night Face-Off with the TV Title, but he’ll have to prove he isn’t a fluke or transitional champion.

The feud between Christian Antonio and Aaron Sullivan came to a boiling point as the two brawled in the parking lot.  The fight ended when Christian slammed a car hood hard down on the thick skull of Sullivan’s as he laid unconscious on the concrete floor and Christian put the entire DIW on notice.  DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. HIM.  Coming off his high of making Aaron Sullivan his bitch, Christian proceeded to ask out Claire The Hare.  A new power couple forming perhaps?

 DIW’s first ever tag-team bout came next as Team Canada (Professor DX Canada and Captain Canuck) took out The North South Connection of Harugeki and Magic Macho.  The table tornado battle proved to be the match of the night.  The budget for DIW’s table allowance sky rocketed as counter after counter occurred with each combatant feeling splinters dig into their skin.  Blood was spilt and the crowd was sent into a frenzy ultimately leading to Team Canada barely managing to capture the Tag Team Championship in an epic 20 minute showdown.  Team Canada has the titles for now, but it’s safe to say that this won’t be the last time these two teams face-off.

 In what we can only assume to be a vicious hate crime.  Tommy James brutally attacked Diamond Daryl as he went to leave the venue.  Daryl and his beautiful afro were sent crashing through a car window as Tommy left the fans wondering what his motives were!

The main event was next and a huge swerve left the DIW world shaken to its core.  Michael Ryne and Reaper were all set to face-off in a TLC match for the DIW Championship when suddenly the commissioner Fat Jesus inserted himself into the match!  A travesty of justice if there has ever been one.  The crowd was firmly behind Michael Ryne as he showed that he would walk through fire for his fans.  Reaper, the pimp that we all love to hate seemed to have his confidence set at an all-time high.  The crowd sat uneasily as Fat Jesus pranced to the ring.  The match ended quicker than Rebecca Black’s 15 minutes of fame in what was supposed to cap off the first ever Friday Night Face-Off in epic fashion.  Reaper and Michael Ryne’s heated rivalry could not be contained as the two laid into each other and Fat Jesus slimed his way up the ladder and grabbed the DIW Championship for his own.  The night ended as the crowd watched in horror at the sight of a man taking his brand new promotion by the neck and proving that he’ll do whatever the hell he wants.

If you missed the show, be sure to check out the archives here!