Saturday, November 17, 2012

DIW Saturday Spotlight (11/16/12)


Written by Claire Carmichael

On 11/16/12, the world was introduced to the greatest thing to happen to professional wrestling since H.L.A.  Dynamic Impact Wrestling was born and its inaugural show left fans amazed, bewildered, angered and hungry for more!

The show kicked off with the introduction of the federation’s commissioner, Fat Jesus as he presided in front of his soon to be loyal fans and introduced the world to this new cutting-edge wrestling company.  The bearded leader spoke with vigor as he put the entire wrestling world on notice.  Dynamic Impact Wrestling is here and the world of professional wrestling will never be the same.  Friday Night Face-Off will be the new go-to show for high octane excitement!


 The first match of this upstart company was a crowd and eye pleaser as the top four women in the company wiped their boots on the mat and tore into each other.  Starzeh, Claire The Hare, Kristy and Angie scratched and clawed at each other for the honor of becoming the first DIW Women’s Champion ever.  The match was highlighted by a death defying leap of angelic proportions by Angie from the ring and through the announcer’s table as Kristy just barely managed to slip out of the way.  This led to her slamming Angie’s head hard on the mat for her Tombstone and the 1-2-3.  The Demon Diva is now on top of the DIW Women’s division with the championship.


 Immediately following the match, a distraught Claire The Hare was confronted by Aaron Sullivan; notorious scum bag.  He foolishly tried to hit on Claire as she tried to recover from her hard fought match.  Luckily, Christian Antonio of UFC fame showed up to scare Aaron away.  Gentlemen do still exist.

The TV Championship was up for grabs in the next match in a fatal-four-way table match.  Diamond Daryl, Day Day Jones, Awoozl and Gabriel showed no regard for anyone’s well-being as they crashed through table after table just to be crowned the first ever TV Champion.  In a shocking upset and very controversial finish, Day Day Jones managed to leap from the top rope and seemingly put Gabriel through the table.  Day Day will come into next week’s Friday Night Face-Off with the TV Title, but he’ll have to prove he isn’t a fluke or transitional champion.


The feud between Christian Antonio and Aaron Sullivan came to a boiling point as the two brawled in the parking lot.  The fight ended when Christian slammed a car hood hard down on the thick skull of Sullivan’s as he laid unconscious on the concrete floor and Christian put the entire DIW on notice.  DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. HIM.  Coming off his high of making Aaron Sullivan his bitch, Christian proceeded to ask out Claire The Hare.  A new power couple forming perhaps?


 DIW’s first ever tag-team bout came next as Team Canada (Professor DX Canada and Captain Canuck) took out The North South Connection of Harugeki and Magic Macho.  The table tornado battle proved to be the match of the night.  The budget for DIW’s table allowance sky rocketed as counter after counter occurred with each combatant feeling splinters dig into their skin.  Blood was spilt and the crowd was sent into a frenzy ultimately leading to Team Canada barely managing to capture the Tag Team Championship in an epic 20 minute showdown.  Team Canada has the titles for now, but it’s safe to say that this won’t be the last time these two teams face-off.


 In what we can only assume to be a vicious hate crime.  Tommy James brutally attacked Diamond Daryl as he went to leave the venue.  Daryl and his beautiful afro were sent crashing through a car window as Tommy left the fans wondering what his motives were!


The main event was next and a huge swerve left the DIW world shaken to its core.  Michael Ryne and Reaper were all set to face-off in a TLC match for the DIW Championship when suddenly the commissioner Fat Jesus inserted himself into the match!  A travesty of justice if there has ever been one.  The crowd was firmly behind Michael Ryne as he showed that he would walk through fire for his fans.  Reaper, the pimp that we all love to hate seemed to have his confidence set at an all-time high.  The crowd sat uneasily as Fat Jesus pranced to the ring.  The match ended quicker than Rebecca Black’s 15 minutes of fame in what was supposed to cap off the first ever Friday Night Face-Off in epic fashion.  Reaper and Michael Ryne’s heated rivalry could not be contained as the two laid into each other and Fat Jesus slimed his way up the ladder and grabbed the DIW Championship for his own.  The night ended as the crowd watched in horror at the sight of a man taking his brand new promotion by the neck and proving that he’ll do whatever the hell he wants.

If you missed the show, be sure to check out the archives here!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Death Rally Review


 


Yet another good old game has made its return in the form of a remake. This time the developer responsible for this is Finland’s own Remedy Entertainment. The same company responsible for Max Payne and Alan Wake has decided to rerelease one of their old kick ass games from 1996, Death Rally. How will this nostalgia filled release fare against the original?

The original Death Rally from 1996.
The original Death Rally was a very simple, fast, arcadey, easy to learn, fun and addicting game. You drove to win, to get money, to get a better car, improve that car, and so on and so forth until you got to face off against the Adversary who apparently was the craziest motherfucker behind the wheel that you could ever meet. What made the game different from the rest of the racing games of its time was the awesome addition of a machine gun, spiked bumper and mines. You could win a race simply by blowing everyone else up.

This was all to be expected from the remake of the game. Not knowing a thing about the remake, I decided to get it while extremely high on a nostalgia trip. Starting the game, you aren’t given much choice on what to do, as you are immediately asked to name your new career. Once you’ve named your career the game begins with the first insert to the story. I’m still not sure why they decided to add a story to the game this time around.

The remake does look slightly different than the original.
You play a guy who enjoys reckless driving and therefore has attracted the attention of the authorities. As the game begins, you are hunted down by a mean cigar-smoking hard-ass of the law enforcement, who decides to not lock you up for all your crimes against humanity because he happens to have another use for you: that’s right, hunt down the Adversary. You need to drive around enough to attract his attention then beat him.

There are two game modes: race and story. Races are just races, as you might imagine. The difficulty level of the races advances as you get further in the game but you can still race in the previous difficulties. These races will be you main source for pimpin’ your car. The story mode has seven events in total, some of which add a little more to the plot with a Max Payne-style cartoony slide show. You can switch between these modes on the fly.

The story being told.
The game itself consists of… racing! Each regular race takes about one to two minutes.  In addition to the regular races, you have different challenges to choose from like single lap races, head to head races and a marathon race. There’s also a Death Match challenge, where you face off against the cigar-smoking hard-ass and four other drivers for three minutes in a demolition derby sort of event. Each race/challenge has up to six drivers, one of which is always a “boss” driver. The boss is just another driver who has a portrait hovering above his/her car. Should you go against them using the same car as they are, they will always go faster than you. Guess that’s their way of adding more challenge to the game.

The main screen..Here you see all the cars, weapons and races available
After each race, you are rewarded with money that you can use to upgrade your car and weapons. The amount of money you make is naturally decided by how well you’ve done in the race. Destroying the opponents’ and boss’ car adds to the cash flow. There are a total of 6 weapons and 8 cars in the game. Unlocking each of these is done by picking up parts for them from the cars you’ve destroyed in the races. Each car has a different amount of base stats (speed, handling and armor) that you can upgrade. Spiked bumpers, mines and laser sights are unlockable as well. You are also required to repair your car after each race.

Race statistics screen. You will see this after every race.
None of the money you win from the races gets stored after you complete a race. Any excess money you might have left after you’re done upgrading your car will vanish. You can only use the money to upgrade the car/equipment you were using on that current race. This way, you are forced to drive a shittier car than you already have available so you can eventually pimp the new shitty car enough to make it better than that one car that is better that you already have. Reading that explanation of the system should make as little sense as the system itself.

Pimp my ride.
Even though there is still stuff to do after you beat the game, (the game never actually ends) it’s really hard to find any enjoyment out of it after all the time you’ve already put into it. There remains a fame system in the game that gives you achievements for every new level you achieve. You get fame from each race and that pretty much becomes the only thing to strive for once you’ve accomplished the main content. Honestly, the game just gets way too boring at that point. I was hoping for a closure on the game once you beat the “story.”

And that´s all there is to the game. The controls work well and the cars act just as you want them to, which makes the driving a lot of fun. The pimping aspect and slow progression towards the better cars keeps you going for that one more race continuously.

That said, it took me about 7 hours to unlock and upgrade everything in the game as well as take out the Adversary. Even before that, the game started getting really repetitive and somewhat boring to me. Unlocking new stuff seemed to happen all the time which ate away from the thought of gaining something of value. The whole progression of the game just seemed way too fast.

The Death Match.
Overall, the remake fails to do the original justice. The original Death Rally had a much better progression system and sense of true success, not just a forced storyline for the sake of having one. The remake has better graphics and slightly better controls. Still, the races were way too short and the entire game felt rushed. If you can, get the original over the remake.